What a fucking rollercoaster 2017 has been. Seriously.
Oh sure, you could say that about any year right?
I mean shit, who goes through an entire year without any hardships or anything?
But this year has been filled with such drastic changes – for better or worse.
Regardless of what life throws at your face, you should be grateful for shit on a daily basis.
I’m especially grateful for my family & friends that were there for me; especially recently.
That being stated, I have to emphasize my accomplishments of the year before diving into the shit.
So much good stuff happened this year that I can go on for pages – so I’ll be brief!
This was the year I got partnered, something I got approached to do and wasn’t planning.
I put together a crazy interactive robot soccer event at E3 – like holy shit, that was AMAZING!
Shoutcasting for the Beam to Mixer rebrand was something special and unexpected.
I had fun doing interactive nail polish and robot goodness on the Level Up cast & Tips and Tricks.
Amazing streamers had viewers apply makeup to them at PAX West, which was funny as fuck.
I got the opportunity to meet a ton of amazing people and.. okay I think that is enough. =P
[Ooo, forgot about the hilarious Abbby April fools stream – OMG that was amazing!]
Seriously – even with all the events that happened this year, it was an INCREDIBLE YEAR.
On that note, it’s time to talk about the major changes of 2017.
I was in a “9-5” job that was making fantastic money for ~8 years.
I was in a relationship that I was receiving love for ~4 years.
What then was the problem?
Passion dissipated and progress deemed impossible; things didn’t feel right.
Relationship wise, I loved but was not in love.
Work wise, I was doing it solely for the money.
Looking at myself, I noticed I was in this sort of loop that wasn’t going anywhere and I wasn’t happy.
So if you’ve spoken to me recently, you’ll know I am adamant about change.
Which is why I’ve been stressing the whole ‘Not happy? Stop bitching and start fixing!’ attitude.
There are people out there that are miserable but don’t change anything because of ‘comfort’.
Regardless, I am grateful for every relationship I’ve had as every conflict made me stronger.
I know more mistakes will be made in the future, surely, but definitely not the same fucking ones.
Things Don’t Always Work Out – Fuck It, I’ll Move On
2017 was filled with projects that didn’t transpire, a failed relationship and ending of a high position.
But dreading on those things do me no good, instead I have to look ahead and continue working.
What keeps me going is all the love I’ve received from my art, music, streams & helping others.
At times I’m still confused by the amount of appreciation I get and I’ll never take it for granted.
If something doesn’t end up working out for you, don’t focus on the negative bullshit.
Instead concentrate on the next steps forward; these issues only make you a better person.
OMG CATS, what then do we do!? Well Billy, I’m glad you asked!
Let’s start with READING A FUCKLOAD OF AMAZING BOOKS! It helped me Billy, it really did!
Yay I Can Read
I started reading this wondering why the fuck I needed to, honestly, as it was recommended by my sister. I was like, okay, what the fuck does this have to do with me right now? Well it turns out, the journey that the protagonist goes through is pretty fucking inspirational and actually clicked with a lot of shit I was going through. I think timing is very important in reading certain books though, so if you end up putting the book down after reading a few pages, read it later when it feels right.
The Alchemist Graphic Novel
So I actually just ordered this while looking up the Amazon affiliate links [you’re damn right I make a penny or two if you decide to buy any of this goodness] and can’t vouch for this version other than the fact that IT’S THE ALCHEMIST IN FUCKING COMIC FORM – that’s pretty legit in itself! Basically I bought this version just to give it to someone randomly at PAX South; we’ll see who needs it.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
This was the first book I purchased after getting attacked by the god that is Google. Yes, I clicked on an AD! AHHHH! WHY! Well I’m glad I did, because this book trains you to stop giving a fuck about the things you shouldn’t give a fuck about. No – the book is not telling you to not give a fuck about everything, essentially it is saying you should only give a fuck about certain things. Do what I did and read a few pages of it on Amazon first, guarantee you’ll have fun reading this!
Manuscript Found in Accra
Each chapter is a new lesson; so, it kind of makes sense to read it like the way my sister reads it – randomly. What she’ll do is open the book to a random page, then go to the start of that chapter and read it. Since she highlights the fuck out of her books, she knows which chapters were read and which weren’t. Although I’ve read the book from front to back, I plan on reading it like this in the future after finishing up my other books.
The Four Agreements
I’m currently reading this and on chapter 3, which is ‘The Second Agreement’. From what I read so far though, it’s pretty powerful. ‘The First Agreement’ stresses out how our word is impeccable, which sounds pretty fucking obvious but when you read about it in depth, you kind of get slapped in the face with some facts that you may not want to hear. OH – and be sure to get the 15th anniversary edition for the artwork inside [I mean, come on, you might as well]!
Think and Grow Rich
Another book I am also reading, but from the first chapter alone I realized what I was doing wrong in my approach on things – mostly that I try to take on too many things at once. Or should I say, I have a passion for a LOT of things, and have a LOT of tasks I work on daily, but it questioned me with ‘Well, what the fuck is your BURNING DESIRE?’. Like, I want this and this and this and this, but what do I REALLY WANT? I like doing this and this and this, but what do I LOVE DOING? What drives ME? That being said, if this book already has that much of an impact on me a chapter in, well fuck, that’s deep.
Yes, a pen, because you will be underlining so much shit it’s not even funny. You don’t just read and move on, you note the words that actually impact you so that you can go back to it and reinforce the message. I actually have no fucking idea if that pen is any good either, so good luck with that. =D
Meditation Helped, WOOSAH
There were many times in my life where I attempted to meditate, but it never quite ‘worked’.
I also tried Headspace recently – which did nothing for me regardless of the graphics and sexy voice.
My sister then played a few she enjoyed and one of them seemed to work on me. Go sis!
I started with these to learn and then followed with these tones, which I have been doing daily.
It’s a great way to clear the head, especially if you’re like me that gets a ton of ideas constantly.
Each session also seems to carry a theme with it, or a lesson in itself. It’s strange but it works.
Do What You Love
Gaming has helped me cope with a lot of shit in life [the Switch has been a godsend recently].
I love making music, art or creating anything that puts smiles and confusion on faces too.
If you didn’t know, I originally started doing YouTube videos to remove PTSD I had [it worked].
And as for streaming, I started in August 2016 in hopes to create unique strange content.
All I can say, do what makes you happy – but of course, some things in moderation, right?
Meaning you can’t spend your entire day gaming and feel productive – oh wait, you can!
But in all seriousness, streaming on Mixer is fun as fuck but it is a lot of work to get it right.
If there is any advice I can give to a new streamer – DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING NUMBERS.
I’m actually proud of a LOT OF PEOPLE that kicked ass this year.
They never stopped trying to accomplish what they set; if you’re one of those people – YOU ROCK!
Anyway, stick with things you love and stick by people that make you feel happy.
Avoid assholes that drain your energy or don’t make you feel like yourself. Hmph!
2018 Is Already Fucking Amazing, Right?
I love working my ass off on projects that I’m passionate about [obviously right]!
But patience is something I need to improve on – because I know all my work will pay off.
There are still a ton of pending projects that I know will formulate – so I’m not worried.
For the ones that don’t, well, fuck it – they weren’t meant to be; plenty of other shit to do! :]
I’ll be moving to the west coast in March but I still expect to be back in NYC all the time.
One of my many goals is to be able to work remotely doing something I love.
It can’t be stated enough of how grateful I am for everything that happened in 2017.
I mean, I barely touched the surface of the good shit that occurred but I’ll never forget it.
I can’t wait to do this writeup again for the end of 2018 and go FUCK YEAH, I DID ALL THAT.
Thanks for reading! [And if you read this on a toilet, well, sorryaboutyourhemorrhoids..]